<![CDATA[ Will Work. Won't Settle. - Will Work Blog]]>Fri, 04 Dec 2015 11:46:07 -0500Weebly<![CDATA[Same career, different day?]]>Wed, 22 Apr 2015 15:43:28 GMThttp://willworkwontsettle.weebly.com/will-work-blog/same-shit-different-day So, I have a 14 year old son. I heard all of the horror stories about teens but in no way ever imagined how frustrated I would be with him sometimes. I know I love him but I don’t like him right now. He’s mouthy and defensive but that’s not why he rubs me the wrong way. What surfs on my last nerve is that his Dad and I are constantly telling him to NOT do the same things that he continues to do. He does “A” which causes “B”. He ALWAYS does “A” and it always causes “B”. That is what is on my last nerve: why does he continue to do the same thing that brings about negative consequences? Then, he turns around and says, “What did I do?”

What’s interesting is that most of the adults that I know are quite unhappy in their lives and they are caught up in the same exact behavior. That includes me. So why is it that we continue to do that same exact negative things, then complain about not liking our lives? It’s baffling.

Bottom-line: Change your actions and your life magically changes with it. Probably not right away but eventually. You spend X amount of years digging yourself into a hole, it's gonna take time getting out.

<![CDATA[I wanted the easy way out of my misery...]]>Mon, 20 Oct 2014 14:03:45 GMThttp://willworkwontsettle.weebly.com/will-work-blog/i-want-the-easy-way-out-of-my-misery
I have to be honest. I wanted a quick fix. I wanted things to just “work out”. And I am not the only one.

As I sat in the job that clearly wasn’t for me, I really wanted an extravagant scene where Jesus came down and turned my water to wine; my two fish and five loaves into 1 million dollars; and my skills into a profitable business.

I didn't want to hear about the discipline, time, consistency, commitment or hard work.  I did not want to push myself. I did not want to have to build relationships. I did not want to wait. I did not want to have to get up and go anywhere.

I just wanted what I wanted and didn’t really want to be involved in the actual details of it.

That sounds crazy, but most of us live this way.

Deep down inside, under the layers of who we are, we only know what we want. We usually set off on a journey of jumping from one thing to another, systematically trying to avoid doing what is necessary. That search for the "easy" way is usually a long, painful one…that loops continuously back to what you are going to HAVE to do.

Bottom-line: If it was easy, everybody (and their mama!) would be doing it.

Tweet Me!!! 
April @WillWorkBlog

<![CDATA[Unemployed Only Please]]>Sun, 27 Jul 2014 02:32:33 GMThttp://willworkwontsettle.weebly.com/will-work-blog/unemployed-only-pleaseSo as someone who is in a constant place of trying to gather good information for people who are interested in building a more meaningful work life, I look for places where career-changers, job-seekers and the like are and see what they are talking about. So I went to a job board and saw this as a title for a new thread, "Unemployed Only Please".  I was sure that I would find people who are posting their experience being unemployed and their future plans. That is not what I found at all. 

What I found were posts about the unemployment rate, the recession and arguments back and forth about government policy. SNORE.

You are unemployed and all you can manage to converse about is the unemployment rate and the economy? Those are external things that none of us can control. Why does it matter what the unemployment rate is? Do we really need Department of Labor stats to tell us how shitty it is out here?


Bottom Line : If you are unemployed or underemployed, please get from around people who are talking about everything "out there". Your (their) words are either bringing death or they are bringing life. The unemployment rate is a buzz kill. The economy is a cyclical, emotional, system that will get "better" for a few years, then will nose dive for another 10 years at some point. It's a waste of time and definitely a waste of conversation.

April @WillWorkBlog

<![CDATA[your success because of your body language]]>Thu, 10 Jul 2014 20:44:04 GMThttp://willworkwontsettle.weebly.com/will-work-blog/your-success-because-of-your-body-language This video below is a fascinating and inspiring TED talk that I had to share. It's about how our body language affects how we feel about ourselves as opposed to how we are affecting our relationships with others. Can something as simple as how we hold our heads affect how powerful or effective we feel? Watch and see....
<![CDATA[Open Doors and Options Galore]]>Mon, 23 Jun 2014 15:30:56 GMThttp://willworkwontsettle.weebly.com/will-work-blog/open-doors-and-options-galorePicture
When I decided to go towards careers that I actually want to pursue, I felt a tug. That tug was towards everything else in the universe. Those tugs represented open doors that I strategically left open. However, those doors also represent total chaos. A decision is the act of cutting off all possibilities. Now, this is drastic but this is why you aren’t seeing personal success. Imagine standing in your kitchen with every cabinet and the refrigerator, wide open. I don’t know if this is true for you, but I would hit my head a few times and my knees. So needless to say, I take what I need from these places and then I close the doors.

What those open doors do FOR you:
  • They create comfort and who wants to be uncomfortable. To have something that has been in your life for a long time, like your current career situation, and to banish it into the black hole of things that will never be again, is scary….and uncomfortable.
  • They protect you. These doors that you leave open make you feel safe. It’s your back-up plan or rather your back-door plan. Back-door plans are last resorts and is usually that thing we don’t want to do but will do if Mr. Challenge becomes Mr. Obstacle. 

What those open doors do TO you:
  • They limit you. If you know for a fact that there is an open door to your old job or situation, you will be less likely to give your new goals a fair chance. Your new goals need all of you and not just your toe. 
  • They create a false sense of safety. It is a false sense of safety because if you are actively trying to leave something behind that is no good for you, it is not safe to go back there. My former job was not a war zone, externally, but the war that it created in me was unbearable. That job, although I did it for a long time, is an option; however, I decided that it wasn’t. I verbally announced that I “retired” from that career to everyone that I know. I deleted job alerts that came into my email that had anything to do with that field. And lastly, I always remind myself that if I am willing to settle there, that I am indeed a punk ass bitch. Harsh? Well, I’m not much into rubbing myself on the ass because that hasn’t gotten me anywhere in the past. Although, that’s just me.

    What I want you to do is look at what doors you may still have wide open. They represent what you consider is an option. If it helps, imagine a table full of food that you don’t like. Why would you even stand by that table? You gotta eat, right? Well, why do you HAVE to eat any of those things? You don’t but you will try to convince yourself that you do. 

Create ways to close certain doors. For me, it was small things like job alerts that reminded me of the career that I abhorred. It seems small but it made a big difference in how I regarded my options and what were acceptable options for me.

Until next Monday….I’m out!

April@ Will Work Won’t Settle
Send Career Planning questions to WillWorkWontSettle (at) Hotmail.

<![CDATA[Why Spiritual Growth is Vital to Career Success]]>Wed, 11 Jun 2014 16:50:15 GMThttp://willworkwontsettle.weebly.com/will-work-blog/june-11th-2014Picture
My mission for my business is to provide that beacon of light for someone to actually see their options and mostly, believe that they have options. In the most basic words, I am being invited into someone else’s life to share in their self-exploration. My pitch is how the career you love can improve your life, however, it is much deeper than that.

Why are people disgruntled when they get a degree but “can’t  find work”? Is it that there are no jobs ever, anywhere? No. That would be total bullshit. What about working just to pay bills? This is honorable but it’s a cop out. Yes, this is an effective approach for some but for people like me, we can’t pretend that our work life does not matter. One time, I was making $950 every two weeks. My rent was $950 per month. So, if you look at, I spent 6 months in the year working for my landlord. So, working just to pay my bills was not quite the motivation I needed to not jump in front of a bus.

So because I am the type that wants to know, I started reading lots of material on success and money. These are great topics but there were hidden jewels that had nothing to do with success and money woven into these books.

Most personal journeys that I read about weren’t some fast break to millions and a wonderful career. These journeys actually started with the feeling that something wasn’t right about where they were. That is something that you can’t buy. It is something that comes from your spirit. It starts to tell you that it is trapped. It starts to send you signs. You wonder why your car keeps breaking down on the way to work but never on the way to anywhere else. You even start to experience physical signs like headaches or tummy aches because it's Monday…again.

Now, again, I am studying what it takes to be successful. Going into it, I thought that it was something to “DO”. It’s not. It is something to BE which directly correlates with your spirit life. Who do I want to BE? This was the missing link in my idea of what success was. This was my life, so it was more than just some title. When I started to get clear on who I wanted to be BE as opposed to what I wanted to DO, I started to understand more of what it would take, what I was willing to do and what was unacceptable in my life.

So, who do you want to BE? If you have children or people who look to you in any way, what are some habits or attitudes do you want them to see in you. I found that my desire to build and grow a business is just about my children seeing someone that is willing to take risks and someone that is not willing to settle. There is no title in that.

Again, who do you want to BE? Being is a part of your spirit. It is something that is not attached to your company or your title. It is the person you are everywhere you go. This person is a success in their own right that has decided to live life on their own terms. 

<![CDATA[Losing Steam?]]>Wed, 02 Apr 2014 18:10:31 GMThttp://willworkwontsettle.weebly.com/will-work-blog/losing-steamPicture
What do you do when you feel exhausted? You want this great career. You want this great life. You are trying really, really hard to make it happen. However, you get to the point where you feel like you are in the cage of your "future" life. 

I say "future" life because that is essentially what it is. You aren't working hard for today, are you? No. You are putting in the blood, sweat and tears to see that "SOMEDAY!" moment. 

The problem with this is that this constant working towards the future can be very draining. Right now, I am trying to figure out how to grown my business, while completing my four-year degree, while raising four children, while trying to not drive my boyfriend completely insane. So, I lose steam often. I get inspired. I push myself to unforeseen limits. Then I flatline. You maybe living with some version of this chaos so here is what I am trying out:

  1. Strengthen your spiritual life. I didn't say religion. I said spiritual. Your relationship with your creator and sustainer is crucial. When you are feeling all over the place, you need a safe, stable place to land. 
  2. Drop something. So, I suffer from holding-on-to-ideas-that-I-had-years-ago syndrome. If something was going to come from them. then it would have happened already. Plus, I believe in universal boomerangs! Let it go. If it was truly meant to be, it will come back to you at a more appropriate time and you will be ready for it. 
  3. Pick something up. You know that thing, that you have been wanting to do. It may not be that this is not the right time. It may be that you have some hang-up about it. You most need to get in touch with your feelings around "the thing". This mission was like that for me. I thought "Who am I to help others figure shit out when I can barely figure shit out on my own?" Easy, I am being led by some strange hand that is pulling me and pushing me at the same time. What I need to pick up to continue on this journey is finding a mentor or coach for myself. Pour into me so that I have plenty to pour out. What do you need to do to start or continue on your journey?

<![CDATA[Are You The Real Thing?]]>Mon, 24 Feb 2014 15:34:09 GMThttp://willworkwontsettle.weebly.com/will-work-blog/are-you-the-real-thingPicture
Here's what disturbs me: lots of folk are hell bent on creating a facade instead of building a real foundation.

Everyone, to some degree, desires to be successful. We want things. We want to go places. Personally, I am anxious to buy a house and finally go on vacation with my children. However, that is NOT my life right now. 

Most of the people that I know are facade-builders. Their careers are facades. Their money situation is a facade. Their relationships are a facade. No one seems to be taking the time to build which is where the hard work is. They want to skip over the legalities of paying bills before buying expensive clothing or the grassroots of getting to know someone (all of who they are-even the parts you don't like) to build a long lasting relationship. Life becomes a big microwave where they not only pop their lives in there, but they can't even be bothered with pressing the numbers; they press the number "1" for the instant minute.

I have been there. Overspending, underearning and looking for a quick fix. The only thing that usually comes out of this is having to always start at square one. Quick fixes are short lived especially those of the illegal persuasion. You work so hard to "look" successful, you have no time to build real success. 

So what to do instead? Build real success. 

How? First and most importantly, acknowledge where you are. What is your financial situation really like? Are you doing work that you love or are you just working to hold up an "image" of someone who has it altogether? 

Next, detach. Let go of having to look a certain way to others. The most interesting caveat of this tip is that if you really look at other people that you are trying to impress, they are indeed creating an "image". You have intimate knowledge that they just came from a vacation but their rent is not paid. You know that they lost their last job because of insubordination (and wasn't laid off). You know that they hate their job. Basically, you are breaking your neck to build an image for someone whose shit is really raggedy.

Lastly, after looking at your life and others, gather ways to build a foundation. Come up with ways to repay debt, cut spending to save for that (fill in the blank), and reinvent your life for that career you have always wanted. Why? Because when people look at you and marvel about how awesome you seem, they will be looking at the real thing. You won't be in debt, or in a career you don't love, or in a car you cannot afford. 

Last tidbit of advice: this will be tough. It is hard to watch how shiny everyone seems while it seems like you have taken a back seat to rebuild. You decline invites to places you can't afford. You no longer walk aimlessly through the mall because you are trying to save. You don't throw that party that you wanted to throw. Basically, you take two steps back in order to take the right steps forward. It will be tough but you have to decide if you are going to live an "image" or be the real thing. 

April @ willworkblog

<![CDATA[Who Am I Going To Be Today?]]>Mon, 23 Dec 2013 22:25:12 GMThttp://willworkwontsettle.weebly.com/will-work-blog/who-am-i-going-to-be-todayPicture
Growing up, I was a nerd of sorts. I wasn't a hard core geek but I did love the smell of a new school book or the look of a well-worn-graffiti-ridden book at the beginning of a school year. You would think that this was something to be proud of but it made me feel awkward. Why? Because “cool” was not the smell of textbooks. The best clothes were one of those things that  won many people over. So in trying to turn up my cool, I thought I'd turn down my nerd. The problem became that I struggled to fit in. We all do this.


Be yourself.

You're thinking: "April, are you kidding? Do you know what brand of crazy I am?"

You may be right. However, it is actually “cool” to purposely turn the world down. That includes your spouse, your coworkers, your momma, your siblings, and your “friends”.

I’m sure there are people you don't like that are successful in their lives. Do you think that they care about what you think about them? That’s because they are probably being themselves without question.

Being yourself is CONTROVERSIAL! Lol!....but only to you because you think that something is wrong with you. 

I judged me and who I am based on others. You will always lose when trying to measure up to others. Not because you suck but because you are comparing apples to oranges. Can you imagine being an apple that thinks everybody loves oranges? You will never be an orange, AppleHead! And that’s fine because you can't make an apple pie with oranges. There is a purpose for who and what you are.

My point is that you must be who you are to have an impact in any area of life which includes your career, your parenting, and your personal relationships. You can pretend to be someone else but we all see right through you. It's noticeable. (the real you is showing!)

Challenge: Take some time to not find out who you are.  Find out how you are being phony and why. Are you trying to protect someone else? Are you trying to fit in because you value that group over who you are? Are you just in limbo and in a very liquid state? Why do you feel the need to portray a big ass lie?

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
― Oscar Wilde

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

<![CDATA[Marie, Danielle and Me! (and Goal-Setting)]]>Fri, 13 Dec 2013 17:54:20 GMThttp://willworkwontsettle.weebly.com/will-work-blog/marie-danielle-and-me-and-goal-settingSo if you haven’t heard of Marie Forleo (MarieForleo.com) then I am your bridge. She is a fantastic business and lifestyle coach and creator of B-School. Of course, I am partial because she is a Jersey girl, like myself, but it doesn't matter where she comes from because she would still be awesome.

I say all that to say, she has a weekly video blast that she sends out on Tuesday via email (Marie TV). This week, the topic was, “How To Set Goals With Soul.” This particular video is an interview with Danielle LaPorte creator of the Desire Map. Danielle is awesome and this interview was awesome.

I like the idea of goal setting but I notice that I have lists of things that I want to do, be, and buy. However, the lists are overwhelming. The lists make me feel defeated on the outset because those are all things that are outside of me. I have some control over what I do but there are certainly obligations that set limits on what I can do. 

For instance, being a mother of 4. If I wanted to move to the middle of nowhere and live in a tent, I couldn't do that because of the needs of my children. All of the things that I want to "be" are liquid. Things happen, ideas change, God makes his revisions and provisions, and that is it. Then, there is the stuff which includes my dream home, my dream car and my dream laundry room (do not judge my dream laundry room!). I'm fickle just like you. I could change my mind about the "things" that I want to buy. So, what the hell are my goals really? What does all this shit mean? 

What Danielle is doing with goal setting is not talking about goal setting in all its dryness and monotony. Goal setting is a necessary evil which is a practice encouraged in any book and by any coach. However, Danielle is hard core spiritual about goal setting which somehow makes it seem like something more desirable to do. Her question is NOT, “what are your goals?” but, “how do you want to feel?”

Why is how you feel important to the goals that you set?

Everything that we do as human beings is related to some feeling that we want to feel. Check out the interview and you’ll get it. You’ll have it. And, my hope is that you can use these tools that Danielle talks about to approach today and beyond with an emotional connection as opposed to some cold, hard goals on a piece of paper.

Tell me what you think!

Remember that you can have success or you can have your excuse, but you cannot have both!!!!

<![CDATA[What Are You Trying To Prove? ]]>Sun, 01 Dec 2013 00:44:42 GMThttp://willworkwontsettle.weebly.com/will-work-blog/what-are-you-trying-to-provePicture
I was a temp for many years, off and on. This was not the plan. The plan was to find a permanent job. However, it an effort to keep my bills paid, I took positions when they were offered. Usually, the agencies said that "with good behavior", I could possibly be hired permanently. It didn't matter to me because for me, it was about getting paid which was the high point of my work life at the time. Through this string of ins and outs, I'd never spent a year at any one company. Eventually, I noticed and had to prove that I could. It was a stupid thing to try to prove but I felt like somehow, I was not getting other desired positions because of my temp reputation.

After spending a year and a half in my last position, I had proved it. But what for? And at what cost? Did I want the job? No. Did it matter how long I spent there? Ultimately, no. It meant nothing. It actually affirmed my constant avoidance of what I really wanted to do. Also, I was at odds with commitment issues. My turmoil about my jobs for money and my real career aspirations made me feel like I was some kind of commitment-phobe. However, I have been in a relationship for over a decade. I completed my first degree which took almost 3 years. I can commit when it is something that means something to me.

 Maybe, just maybe, it was the fact that I was trying to fit where I didn’t. That had nothing to do with commitment but a much more critical situation.

What are you trying to prove that keeps you where you are? It could be a personal notch on your belt, like it was for me. It maybe be something that someone said. A lazy spouse or child? An overbearing parent? What are you trying to prove and to whom?

Your career life can get really noisy and very busy especially when you are dead set on proving something that you don't need to prove.

How have you tried to prove something in your career life and how much time have you wasted?

<![CDATA[Patience Anyone?]]>Wed, 13 Nov 2013 23:56:41 GMThttp://willworkwontsettle.weebly.com/will-work-blog/patience-anyonePicture
Right now, I am reading Eckhart Tolle's, "The Power of Now". The irony is that I struggle daily with NOW and having to "wait". Now, in the book, Tolle warns us about being the state of "waiting" because it puts us in a place where we refrain from living and enjoying NOW. "Life will be great when..." is the phrase that we use to detach from a reality that we are not enjoying at all. The reality of it all is that the present moment is all that we really have whether it is all that we want it to be or not.

Recently, I completed all of my paperwork to continue pursuing my educational goals. I was slated to begin in late October until I got the call that the start date would be pushed up to December. Will Work Won't Settle is a special project of mine (my work) but one of my personal goals is to complete my secondary education. WWWS is still in its developmental stages where I am working on blog posts and my book. So although I split time between WWWS and school, I am anxious to get school done. The December date meant that it would be 9 weeks until I could start school. I don't like waiting. The first two weeks I spent pacing. Then, I realized that I had plenty to do for WWWS like redefining goals and books plans.

When you are "waiting" and not in the NOW, you forget that there is plenty to be done in the present moment. Also, there is plenty to be grateful and fulfilled with in the present. What if tomorrow never comes? My personal inconsistency is that I am usually in thought about what the past should have been and what the future should be. Reading "The Power of Now" definitely showed me to myself. I am now aware that I can easily fret about the future or attempt to figure out the past. One thing that I am no master of is "right now".

So how do you stay in the NOW without drifting into other realms? You don't.

Unfortunately, the mind is like a toddler. It will roam without permission. Fortunately, like a toddler, you can reign it in. Awareness that you are folded into an abstract environment (past or future) is great to know because that awareness is a NOW moment. The conscious decision is to be in the NOW. This is the decision that you have to make. This may be the hardest part and a matter of will.

Once again, the reality is that we only have the present moment so shitting it away scrapping at our past lives or pining away at what the future will (or will not) bring is just plain stupid. 

So to all my fellow Stupid Heads, we have an obligation to be here right now, to plan the future in a state where we are present, and to be grateful to be in the lives of people around us who we probably aren't appreciating as it is. :)

Are you HERE? How can you be HERE more?

<![CDATA[November 09th, 2013]]>Sun, 10 Nov 2013 01:49:40 GMThttp://willworkwontsettle.weebly.com/will-work-blog/november-09th-2013Picture
I am a collage maniac. I love newspaper clippings. I secretly believe that advertisers have banded together to satisfy my craving for inspiration. 
I am my own secret weapon. For those of us who believe that we must gather the masses to achieve our vision must understand one thing: we are IT. It doesn't matter where we get support from, we must first realize that we hold the key to it all. 

One of the biggest issues we face is worrying about who’s with us. It is detrimental
waiting for others to come around or to believe in us because it may never

Another issue is  feeling like we are not enough. You talents are enough.
Your skills are enough. In your life, you are the secret weapon. Seeking all
that is outside of us, trying to capture what we already have is a big time
waster and quite frustrating. You could literally spend years searching for what
you already have. It becomes a waiting game to be good enough or for others to
“discover” how brilliant you are. This is a state of mind and is never ending.
This day will never come because it is not about receiving from others, it is
about accepting yourself, realizing your personal power and GIVING it to the world.

 What do you think has convinced you that you are not enough or your skills are not
enough? What are you in search of to prove that you are worthy of your goals and
dreams? How much longer will you wait?

 April @WIllWorkBlog


<![CDATA[Eckhart Tolle Says And I Quote.....]]>Sun, 27 Oct 2013 20:34:02 GMThttp://willworkwontsettle.weebly.com/will-work-blog/eckhart-tolle-says-and-i-quote

"When you complain, you make yourself into a victim. When you speak out, you are in your power. So change the situation by taking action or by speaking out if necessary or possible;  leave the situation or accept it. All else is madness. " 

(The Power of Now)
<![CDATA[Joyce Meyer Said and I Quote...]]>Tue, 01 Oct 2013 01:08:51 GMThttp://willworkwontsettle.weebly.com/will-work-blog/joyce-meyer-said-and-i-quote"I am not where I need to be but thank God I am not where I used to be!"

<![CDATA[Quitting with Kanye West in the BG!!! ]]>Tue, 01 Oct 2013 00:10:46 GMThttp://willworkwontsettle.weebly.com/will-work-blog/quitting-with-kanye-west-in-the-bg
<![CDATA[Teamwork: What’s Eating April Roberts?]]>Fri, 13 Sep 2013 01:33:39 GMThttp://willworkwontsettle.weebly.com/will-work-blog/teamwork-whats-eating-april-robertsPicture
Hey people!

So, as you know, or don’t know, I am a college student. “Will Work. Won’t Settle” is my platform and my business. Getting a college degree for me has been a lifelong goal for me so I am pursuing my degree online.

So what’s treading on my nerves? Teamwork.

In my former life (years ago), I used to hear the word “team” and cringe. I actually enjoy working alone. Also, I came from a world where I had to depend on myself a lot so maybe it was a “way of life” that I adapted like a rule to live by: “Don’t trust other people with your dreams or success!” I’d like to retract that statement, but not right now…..

As a college student, we are constantly, as a requirement, grouped into teams. When I found this out, I got a big know in my chest. My mind went to that place where I just was not comfortable working in teams with my success depending on others. My first team, in my first class was awesome so that led me to believe that I was totally overreacting to the team requirements.  With the next two classes, I learned that my reaction was appropriate. Little or no group interaction which left me to organize the group activities, track everyone down to see if they had their part completed and ultimately, doing everything myself recently. This is why I find it difficult buying into the “group” thing.

I would like to retract now.

No, I am not wishy-washy or on some middle ground. The truth is that life is a group project. Anyone with any level of success worked with at least one other person to get to that point. Also, in corporate America, the team format has caught wildfire. A team environment fosters sharing and learning. Sharing with and learning from one another increases efficiency in getting things done and creates a company culture where employees can learn new skills and knowledge from their teammates. Point blank: Teamwork does make the dream work.

Teamwork Eating at You?

Open Your Heart and Mind

Keep an open heart and mind when in a team environment. You may have fears and judgment but usually negativity breeds negativity. “Don’t start none, won’t be none!”

Accept It

You need support and so do others. I believe that God put us here to support each other in everything that we do in life. In most situations, including a family environment, you will be involved in a team.

Focus on Your Team Etiquette

Are you a great team member? Can other people count on you to do your part? Are you bringing negativity or positivity to the group? Are you listening? Are you supportive?

Challenge Yourself

If all else fails, take it on as a challenge. If it is something that you MUST do then make the commitment to do your best and give your best. You cannot control others but you can control yourself. 

<![CDATA[Rick Warren Says:]]>Tue, 27 Aug 2013 15:53:00 GMThttp://willworkwontsettle.weebly.com/will-work-blog/rick-warren-says

"Focusing on ourselves will never reveal life's purpose."

-The Purpose Driven Life

<![CDATA[People Like Us]]>Thu, 15 Aug 2013 19:51:22 GMThttp://willworkwontsettle.weebly.com/will-work-blog/people-like-usPicture
Have you ever referred to yourself as "people like us". Well, I have been pegged into a hole like that against my own will. A relative of mine referenced me in a statement of "us poor folk." Beyond angry at that comment, I could hardly contain myself. 

Why was I so angry at that comment? At first I thought that I was angry at them for saying it. After some careful thought, I realized that I was angry at myself for allowing someone to even be able to include me. They are able to include me because I haven't given my all to my dreams and goals. They are able to include me because I lend that perception of myself that I am "poor". I was being shown to myself with that statement. If I was living my truths and according to my values, I have a nagging feeling that I wouldn't be "poor" or seen as such. 

There is no doubt that people can be assholes but stop for a minute to realize that the energy you are extending out is what you get back. Every time you attempt to reach for your dreams and you retract back, people see that. Most of us don't have someone seeing this retraction as a cue to build us up. They are actually seeing how we devalue ourselves so they believe that they can. No, they are not trying to hurt you but they are not trying to encourage you either. They are in the middle. The middle is probably where you are as well which is why you don't set the standard of meeting the challenges on the way to your goal.

Where I come from, people have more fears than they do successes. They are not poor because of their monetary status but just the opposite. Their monetary status is in lack because they are poor inside. I have seen this inside myself which is why I grew so angry. I know that I am devaluing myself. I know that my state of mind is in lack. I know that my commitment to my goals are lacking. And even deeper, I know that my influence is lacking because I am not being a great role model. 

For instance, if you are overweight and someone comments on your weight, it may set you off into thinking that they are attacking you. This may be but where are they getting their ammunition to attack you? They get it from the way you are treating yourself. Do they have the right to comment. HELL NO. But and however, people are not built with coin operated mouths. They don't have to do much but open and all kinds of stupid can come flying out. I'm not talking about useless gossip at all. I am mostly speaking about things that we know need to change but we are effectively ignoring it and do so until someone speaks on:
  • that degree that we still haven't finished
  • that career that we haven't tried
  • that book we said we would write
  • that weight we said we would lose
  • that house we said we would clean (i see you!)

My point is that people will treat you how you treat you. As rich and full bodied as my goals are, I struggle with feeling like I am enough. "Us poor folk"  is used by people who don't feel worthy. And as much as I wanted to rebuke that statement, I was living that statement of unworthiness.

How can you learn from negative comments about you? How can you sift through them to understand how you could possibly be seen that way? 

<![CDATA[Restless ME Syndrome]]>Tue, 06 Aug 2013 21:40:05 GMThttp://willworkwontsettle.weebly.com/will-work-blog/restless-me-syndromeEnergy is real. A great example is when someone is being negative in anyway, and you feel it. The room is as thick as can be and you start to feel smothered .  Just as you can feel someone else’s energy, you are also giving off energy. You are also stirring some into yourself.  There are days where I feel like I am bubbling and about to spill over. My first reaction was to attribute it to stress. It is possible that it is a bit of angst but I have recently learned to channel it as a positive energy.  

That restless feeling for me means that there is something to be done. It is calling on me to find something to focus on. Whether it is writing, researching or tending to my higher education studies. It is calling me to take action.

Next time when you feel this vibration, don’t fret, just do something. Action will always be a great way to focus this energy.  Just make sure that you don’t turn this into, “I’m so stressed out!” and start yelling at everyone. I see you! Be good.

What do you do when you feel restless or "out of sorts"?