Why was I so angry at that comment? At first I thought that I was angry at them for saying it. After some careful thought, I realized that I was angry at myself for allowing someone to even be able to include me. They are able to include me because I haven't given my all to my dreams and goals. They are able to include me because I lend that perception of myself that I am "poor". I was being shown to myself with that statement. If I was living my truths and according to my values, I have a nagging feeling that I wouldn't be "poor" or seen as such.
There is no doubt that people can be assholes but stop for a minute to realize that the energy you are extending out is what you get back. Every time you attempt to reach for your dreams and you retract back, people see that. Most of us don't have someone seeing this retraction as a cue to build us up. They are actually seeing how we devalue ourselves so they believe that they can. No, they are not trying to hurt you but they are not trying to encourage you either. They are in the middle. The middle is probably where you are as well which is why you don't set the standard of meeting the challenges on the way to your goal.
Where I come from, people have more fears than they do successes. They are not poor because of their monetary status but just the opposite. Their monetary status is in lack because they are poor inside. I have seen this inside myself which is why I grew so angry. I know that I am devaluing myself. I know that my state of mind is in lack. I know that my commitment to my goals are lacking. And even deeper, I know that my influence is lacking because I am not being a great role model.
For instance, if you are overweight and someone comments on your weight, it may set you off into thinking that they are attacking you. This may be but where are they getting their ammunition to attack you? They get it from the way you are treating yourself. Do they have the right to comment. HELL NO. But and however, people are not built with coin operated mouths. They don't have to do much but open and all kinds of stupid can come flying out. I'm not talking about useless gossip at all. I am mostly speaking about things that we know need to change but we are effectively ignoring it and do so until someone speaks on:
- that degree that we still haven't finished
- that career that we haven't tried
- that book we said we would write
- that weight we said we would lose
- that house we said we would clean (i see you!)
My point is that people will treat you how you treat you. As rich and full bodied as my goals are, I struggle with feeling like I am enough. "Us poor folk" is used by people who don't feel worthy. And as much as I wanted to rebuke that statement, I was living that statement of unworthiness.
How can you learn from negative comments about you? How can you sift through them to understand how you could possibly be seen that way?