Everyone, to some degree, desires to be successful. We want things. We want to go places. Personally, I am anxious to buy a house and finally go on vacation with my children. However, that is NOT my life right now.
Most of the people that I know are facade-builders. Their careers are facades. Their money situation is a facade. Their relationships are a facade. No one seems to be taking the time to build which is where the hard work is. They want to skip over the legalities of paying bills before buying expensive clothing or the grassroots of getting to know someone (all of who they are-even the parts you don't like) to build a long lasting relationship. Life becomes a big microwave where they not only pop their lives in there, but they can't even be bothered with pressing the numbers; they press the number "1" for the instant minute.
I have been there. Overspending, underearning and looking for a quick fix. The only thing that usually comes out of this is having to always start at square one. Quick fixes are short lived especially those of the illegal persuasion. You work so hard to "look" successful, you have no time to build real success.
So what to do instead? Build real success.
How? First and most importantly, acknowledge where you are. What is your financial situation really like? Are you doing work that you love or are you just working to hold up an "image" of someone who has it altogether?
Next, detach. Let go of having to look a certain way to others. The most interesting caveat of this tip is that if you really look at other people that you are trying to impress, they are indeed creating an "image". You have intimate knowledge that they just came from a vacation but their rent is not paid. You know that they lost their last job because of insubordination (and wasn't laid off). You know that they hate their job. Basically, you are breaking your neck to build an image for someone whose shit is really raggedy.
Lastly, after looking at your life and others, gather ways to build a foundation. Come up with ways to repay debt, cut spending to save for that (fill in the blank), and reinvent your life for that career you have always wanted. Why? Because when people look at you and marvel about how awesome you seem, they will be looking at the real thing. You won't be in debt, or in a career you don't love, or in a car you cannot afford.
Last tidbit of advice: this will be tough. It is hard to watch how shiny everyone seems while it seems like you have taken a back seat to rebuild. You decline invites to places you can't afford. You no longer walk aimlessly through the mall because you are trying to save. You don't throw that party that you wanted to throw. Basically, you take two steps back in order to take the right steps forward. It will be tough but you have to decide if you are going to live an "image" or be the real thing.
April @ willworkblog